Bridesmaid Doesnt Want to Wear a Dress
The internet backed a Japanese bride who shared in a now-viral post that she doesn't want to wear a "Western" wedding dress, despite her prospective mother-in-law's wishes.
Posting in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum on Thursday under the username u/PuzzledSurround6810, the bride explained that she wants to wear a Shiromuku—a traditional, all-white wedding kimono. Her mother-in-law, however, claimed the attire wouldn't "fit" the wedding's "theme."
The post has garnered more than 15,000 upvotes and nearly 3,000 comments from Redditors who agreed the bride should wear whatever she wants on her wedding day.
"I am set to marry my fiancé in the fall of next year," the bride wrote. "My fiancé and his family are Catholic and very religious. Because of this I have agreed to a church wedding despite it not being my faith but the one sticking point for me is what I'm going to wear."
The bride said she wants to wear a Shiromuku for the ceremony and an Iro-uchikake—a colorful overcoat—for the reception. But her mother-in-law wants her to wear a "Western" dress.
"My future MIL is uncomfortable with this and has told me if I want to wear a veil and dress I should just go the Western style as it will fit in with the theme of the wedding better and not stick out too much," the bride said, adding that her mother-in-law even offered to buy the Western dress.
"I know she likely doesn't understand why I'm so upset over this, [and] I want to respect their traditions but I don't feel like I'm being respected in turn," the bride concluded. "AITA?"
Speaking to Martha Stewart Weddings, psychologist and author Dr. Paulette Sherman advised brides to set boundaries with overbearing mothers-in-law during the wedding planning process.
"You can be kind and polite while still doing things differently, and you can appreciate her advice, but make other choices," Sherman said. "Practice saying no in nice ways and also learn how to politely set boundaries on whom is handling what."
Sherman also encouraged brides to hire a wedding planner, who can act as a "buffer" between them and their future mother-in-law.
"Get help from a third party and let her handle the big decisions while consulting you," Sherman advised. "Just warn her that your mother-in-law has different taste and let her handle it."
Redditors, in accordance with Sherman's advice, told u/PuzzledSurround6810 to put her foot down with her mother-in-law and wear her Shiromuku.
"NTA [not the a**hole]. You already compromised about having the wedding in a Catholic setting. Why would they not want to see your own beautiful, traditional dress? This day should be about the two of you together, merging equally," wrote u/3233fggtb.
"NTA. It is your wedding day and your culture is a big part of that moment. You should wear what is most meaningful to you, [not] what is 'acceptable,' especially since you already compromised," said u/serieann24.
Redditor u/Leedsgoat added: "It's YOUR wedding, not MIL's. If she doesn't like it then she doesn't have to come!"
Newsweek has reached out to u/PuzzledSurround6810 for comment.
In other viral wedding news, the internet defended a man earlier this month who wanted to include his sister in the bridal party, despite not getting along with his fiancé. The internet also backed a woman who bought a wedding dress for a stranger but refused to pay for her daughter's dress.
And last week, the internet sided with a woman who dropped her stepson off with his father at a "no kids" wedding because she needed to work.
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Source: https://www.newsweek.com/internet-backs-bride-who-doesnt-want-wear-western-wedding-dress-1699887